Matt Calderon – A BloG

I was sitting at B&N reading a book about the Analog Christian by Jay Kim. In preparation for this paper, I glean from Kim and his interpretation of the modern Christian in a world where everything is fighting for our attention. He presents this take on the crisis of distraction we as Christians face.

we’ve come to realize our screens are not open doors but mirrors turning us away from others and toward ourselves. We linger alone and afraid behind the curtain of our seemingly mundane and ordinary lives while listening to the party happening always an unreachable distance away in the online narratives of others. So, what’s the answer? How can we free ourselves from despair’s choke hold on us? (J. Kim, Analog Christian: Cultivating Contentment, Resilience, and Wisdom in the Digital Age, 2022)

Like Kim states, I find myself in a choke hold of social media and endless scrolling. I find myself on the web in sexual sin diving deeper and deeper into a hole. What i find most concerning is this mirror that I am presented with, where staring back at me is this blessed man not lacking anything, yet wanting everything.

This leads me to ponder what exactly it is that has driven me to longing. In Comer’s, A Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, he states that before a clock, time was natural. That we rose with the dawn of the sun. Jesus did the same. He rose while it was still dark, postured himself in solitude, and prayed.

Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.(Mark 1:35 NKJV)

This habit that Jesus built wasn’t for anyone else but to connect with the Father and gain a download of heaven to earth. Before turning on a phone or checking a notification. And before I know it, I am involved with the day before I ever met the creator. Comer quotes Wayne Muller who defines it as:

A “successful” life has become a violent enterprise. We make war on our own bodies, pushing them beyond their limits; war on our children, because we cannot find enough time to be with them when they are hurt and afraid, and need our company; war on our spirit, because we are too preoccupied to listen to the quiet voices that seek to nourish and refresh us; war on our communities, because we are fearfully protecting what we have, and do not feel safe enough to be kind and generous; war on the earth, because we cannot take the time to place our feet on the ground and allow it to feed us, to taste its blessings and give thanks.

Comer leads us to stop and question, what are we running away from or what are we running after? He then asks the reader, have we lost our soul?

In self reflection I sit on these words heavy. Like Kim states, I spend so much time on this mirror/phone that I lose all awareness of God. What I am aware of is my shallow bitter lifestyle under the influence of a screen. Like Comer states I have lost track of the circadian rhythm. Of the rising and setting of the sun. And this radiant star that is pointing me to the father. Like Muller states I don’t even take the time to let my feet touch the ground. Its this hopeless condition of self. It’s this restless neglect of honesty with myself in pursuit of everything but intimacy with God. Running from myself at the same time chasing aimlessly trying to catch the wind.

And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.(1 John 2:17 NKJV)

Practically, what I am transitioning to aim for, is to pursue Him by creating space for Him. What is true is that I fear intimacy with God, but I have strategy now. I am educated now. The veil has been torn now. I am creating space by going to bed early to wake up early. I am creating space by starting a blog to sit here and be present with myself, to process my thoughts and emotions, to pray and reflect, and to write everything down before God. Practically I am creating a space to first turn to the Lord, second to look with unveiled eyes at Christ, and lastly to contemplate of the glory of the Father as expressed in my previous blog. I glean today from David who wrote in Psalms 27:

‘8When You said, “Seek My face,” My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”'(Psalms 27:8)

It’s a heart posture that I am changing. I used to have a mantra book before I knew the Lord. As much as I committed to telling myself I am successful, even more should I be saying, “Your face, Lord, I will seek”. Just like setting a meeting at work I am willing myself away from self reflection to His reflection. David ends the Psalm by saying:

‘Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!'(Psalm 27:14)

Such a simple concept of waiting on the Lord, before I present my eye gate and my mind gate with distraction. Secondly, to be of good courage, which in Hebrew comes from ometz which means to be brave, to make an effort, and to be steadfast. I need to mean what I say when I say it. I need to make an effort. What David presents us with is a promise. God’s promise that if we firstly wait as well as remain steadfast, He will strengthen my heart. What this promise shows me is that where I have been weak-hearted about God’s promises or his goodness it will become strengthened. Fortified on Christ.